Mamas: Do You Know Where Your Breasts Are?

Let me just start with a highlight of my birthday being my very own cleavage. Yesterday I was sitting on the couch reading my bible and sneaking glances at my tatas. (LOOK! Those words can go in the same sentence!  I think I hear Jesus chuckling.)  (At me, again.) It is hard to feel sexy when you are somebody's mother.  It just is.  Not to mention what having that somebody or somebodies does to your body.

Sass is courtesy of Cacique
I now remember what the fuss is all about with Victoria's Secret.  

Since having my first babe and going into a "Vicky C's" three years ago to get new bras and leaving crying after witnessing the horrific delflated  truth about my 'milky bar', I haven't set foot in that store. (Plus my fanny does not appreciate their paltry XL selection.)  I bought my scanties at Target (where I buy everything else).  I thought I was doing fine.  I was thrifty.  I still had pretties. I thought it was all OK.  

It wasn't.  

Darling Liz, I am endlessly grateful that you dragged me lingerie shopping.  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.  

Disclosure for my male readers:  You can skip this post, just go buy your wife a Victoria's Secret gift certificate or if she is super curvy/fluffy/huggable or whatever get a Cacique gift certificate for Christmas, OK? And no, it is not for you, it really is for her!

And you mamas, you ladies....if it has been awhile, and you have $50 to spoil yourself skip the mani pedi and git thee to a Victoria's Secret.  NOW. Let them fit you.  Let them wait on you.  Let them usher you around and sell to you. If you have $100,  they have a buy one get one half off and you can get two bras and 5 cotton panties for $25 or one pair of gorgeous gossamer heaven for $28.  Oh Do it!!!! I have a few friends who got a look at my uplifted self and are heading to the land of consumer femininity ASAP.  

And if you are a curvier  CURVIER girl...try Cacique, it is Lane Bryant's answer to Victoria's Secret and it feels like a Victoria's Secret (not a LB). They have THE BEST silky flattering panties for girls with more...uhhhh fanny personality?  Trust me.  WOW!

Any of you mamas who have nursed a kid or two can appreciate the joyous delight in seeing The Girls up above your elbows and how that can make you feel like you have lost twenty pounds.  Even if you haven't.  At all.  Because it was your birthday weekend month.  I felt like a million bucks all weekend and for a dragged out hung on tired mama THAT is worth the money.

p.s. I am writing a talk for January about getting your Mama Mojo back and this is definitely going in there.  Please let me know your thoughts/troubles/tips either in the comments or via email to help me help other women feel sparkly and fabulous.

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