I am out of the running for that coveted "Mother of the Year Award" again this year. It was one of several 'yelly' days where I finally have enough sense to just put myself in time out instead of my daughter. After my time out I sat at the dining room table between my girls as they ate lunch. I was overwhelmed and frustrated with my week and with myself.
I had a beautiful pad of paper and one of my favorite pens in front of me. I was going to write out what kind of Mama I wanted to be, distill it and find a way to check in daily to see how I was doing.
I knew I wanted to educate my girls. I want to do crafts with them. I want to make them helpless with laughter every day. I want a tidy house with simple contents so keeping it tidy isn't a big chore. I want to enjoy providing good food for my family...etc. etc.
I looked at my eldest who is almost three and realized what I should do really is ask her.
I said "Portia, Darlin', what kind of Mama do you want me to be?" She looked at me with a puzzled pout. I tried again,"What kind of Mommy do YOU want?" She looks very seriously at me and says "I want a Purple Mommy!"
I laughed very big and very loud, probably scaring the baby. Here I was getting all philosophically self-centered and twisted up angst-ing over Motherhood when all my daughter wants is a Purple Mommy. Not a Perfect Mommy, but PURPLE. Portia smiled at me and I realized that although she didn't understand what I meant, she did know better what I should be. A Purple Mommy. Unobtainable. Funny. Creative and Happy. Memorable and Colorful and Unique.
Yes. YES! I will be a Purple Mommy. I even think I will make a painted sign accordingly. A sign to enjoy daily and to remind myself that no one gets "Mother of The Year", but every woman's "Purple Mommy" is laughing and ready anytime.