(It is PILLOWS!)
The marriage bed with its rumpled sheets, hard to leave this early. In the fiveish o'clocks. We make this bed each morning -- lazily because it is just a duvet and one simple decorator pillow. Plus the pillow shams. I guess you have to count our chiropractor 'nerd pillow' pillows too and the regular fluffy bed pillows we would use if our back and necks didn't prefer the nerdy ones. So whatever, it looks nice when we walk back into the room, and I don't care what you say about knowing a man is married or gay if they have more than two pillows on their bed. It looks better.
I'm so glad I waited for you. Even if I hadn't before...the three years made you all the more delicious. Being married to you makes everything better. You have such a servant's heart for me and so rarely criticize me out loud...and I know you are a critical thinker. Instead of laying backs to each other and far away(as far as you could get I guess being two fairly large folks in a queen bed) we are close.
We talk, you make me laugh until I cry. Or until snot runs out of my nose along with the tears from laughing convulsively which is kind of unattractive. But you are particularly funny at three o'clock in the morning. Or when I come to bed and you voice your annoyance with all of the pillows like this.
You provide for me a place to be real. To be weak, imperfect, even quite ugly in appearance or heart. Sometimes, like yesterday, both. No shower for a few days and a sweaty run on top of that. One of our children is teething badly and suction cupped to my breast all day and the other is decidedly not using the toilet. I call you at work where you do important things. I am frustrated and upset; close to the edge of making the news and you come home a little early. You take our precious girls away with you to pick up Chinese and allow me quiet. A long hot shower all alone...no tension straining to hear if something happened, if someone is crying. A cold beer on the happy front porch, silence. Nothing to worry about but me.
You didn't have to take them both with you. It wouldn't be easy to carry all that deep fried Chinese food goodness and a baby bucket and hold a toddler hand. But you did, because you care more about my happiness than your own. And that is what I value so very much. You make me want to be a better wife, mother, woman. I won't be. I will still be wretched often, and yet you will still love me, enjoy me, care for me. How blessed I am!
I smile and think it is always you. You were meant for me and I am humbled by that. I am ever grateful that God is my center and He gave me you. Because my taste in men left a lot to be desired. And you in my life makes everything better and you are what I desire. You and a few more pillows. What do you think about red? Maybe tassels? Honey?