Why Moms SHOULD "Bother"

*This post is one of my most popular and I thought I would bring it back around in case you missed it last year!

The standard mom wardrobe is believed to be stretch pants and a dirty t-shirt she just may also have been wearing the day before. We are unshowered, unrested, stained and crusted with spit up and applesauce and forlorn lost blobs of gum. We eat cookies out of plastic bags when our kids are not looking and drink wine a little too early in the afternoon evening some days. I would like to protest this basketcase of maternal endeavor is a myth, alas she is not. Many of us mamas have some form of her staggering through our days when we should not.

There are tons of mommy blogs focusing on fashion for us folks because we need and want them! I read several of them to find ways to feel like a sassy female and not just a wiped out "mommy". (A few of my tricks are imperfectly revealed below.) I have learned a lot from Kathy Friend,her blog "Fashion Questions and Answers" has all kinds of tips on budget fashion via Goodwill, shoes, and parenting fashion.

She taught me at the ripe age of 38 years old that I was in fact not a pear shape but an hourglass. All this time I was dressing to cover my hips and ended up hiding one of my best features: a fabulous waist! Priceless information. Oh, that and she can organize and purge your closet, take you shopping live or remotely and make you laugh until you pee a lot.

Another fashion blog I have found helpful as I have bumbled out of Birkenstocks with jeans and into peep toe leopard flats (sometimes...sometimes....) is Smart Mom Style. Her blog covers more than just on your body style, but style as an essence of daily life.

I'm not a particularly polished woman. If I clean up and sparkle a bit you will notice because it isn't my standard m.o. Although I do not wear the ubiquitous pony tail, two bobby pins and a hair clip is a close second!

I've always admired my friend Missy for her beauty and polish. She is a stay at home mama of two little girls very close in age. Missy is petite and curvy and even if she is wearing yoga pants (THANK YOU GOD, FOR YOGA PANTS!) she wears full makeup and jewelry color coordinated to her outfit. Even when I have caught her at home she at least has some jewelry matching the t-shirt she has on above the yoga pants. She is lovely.

I admire Missy, but I am not going to be her any time soon. I am too tired, too focused on other things. Even when I was younger and worked outside the home I admired the polished set from a distance. Nowadays I do not have a job outside the home and only my two small kidlets see me any given day, why should I bother? I should 'bother' for me! The parenting magazines suggest that fixing our hair and wearing an actual outfit however utilitarian to our days buoys our love life. They suggest that a coat of mascara will show him you are really trying. Frankly, my husband should know I am trying if my kids are alive at the end of a day and dishes piled on the counter proved we all ate something. They say loosing weight for someone else is not as effective as doing it for ourselves. Likewise, I strongly believe us mamas need to add sparkle to our day simply for us.

Personally, my biggest fashion coup as the mama to two girlies under the age of three is quick dry nail polish. I feel like I made an effort when I didn't. (And when it starts to chip ten minutes after I have applied it I don't feel like I wasted an hour.)

Of course, my skill in application still needs...uh, polishing.

Like me, your version of sparkly might not be the full court press of fashion week. Maybe it is a shower and lip gloss. Or you could be on to the devious trick of quick dry nail polish too. Maybe your 'bother' is a new pair of jeans or even nicer pants...a sassier top than the typical t-shirt. Something that takes five minutes more and lifts your spirit. Whatever makes YOU feel polished and pretty make the effort to do it more days than not. For me, some happy red lipstick more in place for a night out makes me feel more bombshell and less bombed out mama. Even if I am just cleaning pee off the bathroom floor. Even if it is a color you wouldn't leave the house in, slick it on and grin through your day. Besides, the kids enjoy a happy kiss mark on their tummy. And their forehead. And the mirror!

Just bother.

And please share! What blogs or websites have you discovered to help us reclaim our inner bombshells? Please share in the comments below!

11 comments:

Stacey said...

Hi! Thanks so much for the invitation to stop by! You know, I am a Stay at Home Mom to 4 girls. And I've learned that just making an effort to get up and get dressed is a good thing.

I have participated in The Pleated Poppy's "What I Wore Wednesday" for about 8 months. The idea is get up, get dressed and snap a photo. Then you share what you wore on each Wed. and link up at her blog.

I love that it is teaching me what works for me. I love that it has helped me lose weight and I love getting ideas from other women on what to wear!

Really fun!

Nice to meet you1

HeatherCurleeNovak said...

OOOh I will check the Pleated Poppy out. I'm relatively new to the blogosphere but it sure is awesome for ideas. Mebbe I will even do the WIWW since that is a day I'm likely to stay in pjs. With all this fashion talk I reckon I oughta shower now at least, right?

Amber Janke said...

Hey saw your tweet! Cute blog :) ok moms so here is another way to take some of the headache out of our daily lives, well at least for a few days or when we are feeling up for it. Recently I let my daughter dress me for a whole week and you can check it out here at my blog. http://riversmom.com/category/fashion/

Kristy Hall said...

Hi ladies. Love this topic. Just recently become work at home (vs. work in the city) and have embraced the idea of a 'Mom uniform' - jeans / cords and a J Crew boatneck long sleeve t-shirt. It totally simplifies my life and the days that I shower I don't look half bad ;-) I figure if uniforms work for my kids they can work for me too!

HeatherCurleeNovak said...

Amber I look forward to reading this post...I think I saw you doing this on Pleated Poppy? SO FUN. I'll bet my 2.5yo would be a scream.

Kristy your uniform sounds great. I started using dressier tops with my jeans. You know shiny and fancier than my old standard t-shirts. I think it works.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Ok, so just Monday I bought myself TWO pairs of jeans and some fitted sweaters. I vowed to ditch the leggings already and start accentuating my curves instead of hiding them all the time and feeling larger than I really am. So, I do bother. And I really did bother before but acted like I didn't. :) I do think you'd love What I Wore Wednesday- I have a lot of friends that do that every week and Lindsay is a great gal!

Steph

Coble said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Coble said...

I work from home and my only is in school. I'm really not forced to leave the house much other than to drop her off and pick her up and hit the store a couple of times a week. Now, I'm as guilty as the next gal of dressing comfortably because it's easy (and no one else will see, right?), but there's a whole shift in my demeanor when I know I'm looking cute.

I really believe making as much of an effort as is practical and part of your personal interest is all part of taking care of yourself and maintaining your identity in the chaos.

One of the people featured in the documentary, "Bill Cunningham New York" said that fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life." I could not agree more.

HeatherCurleeNovak said...

Steph I am so glad you are fired up about your purchases. I need to keep buying FITTED stuff myself. All my cardigans are square and that does nuttin for me. As I have learned. I always think you look funky cool and lovely. I have thrown jewelry on lately because of you looking marv at park playdates!

Coble...YESSSSS and even over the phone you will feel more in control and polished when you are looking cute. Oh! I need to see you it has been YEARS. You added such oomph to my week.

Today my hair is dirty but lips are RED.

The Bearded Iris said...

This post is speaking to my soul! I am guilty of being one of those moms who looks less bombshell and more bomb victim. I love all the comments and suggestions you have here. Maybe it's time to break out the red lipstick and get a haircut! I'm afraid if I participated in a WIWW it would be more of a "Don't Let This Happen To YOU!" PSA. Sad. Really great food for thought. Thanks!!

HeatherCurleeNovak said...

Iris. BOMB Victim! Yes go get a haircut old girl and then post before and after. Inspire us.